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Dear Trustees of TKF:

As Principal of Correia Middle School (CMS) a comprehensive middle school for 7th – 8th graders in one of our nation’s largest urban districts, I have an opportunity to interact daily with youngsters between the ages of 11-14 years of age. According to many expert opinions, this stage of life is one of the most challenging. In fact, I have yet to meet any adult who would choose to relive this “coming of age” chapter in their life. For this single reason, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the work all of you do on behalf of everyone – young or old. On January 13, 2010, the Tariq Khamisa Foundation (TKF) brought their “Violence Impact Forum” program to CMS. Over 830 young adolescents, their teachers, counselors, and administrators listened with the utmost respect to the powerful messages delivered by Azim Khamisa, Ples Felix, and other panelists from the program. It is with extreme gratitude that I communicate with you the impact that the TKF had upon lives that day alone at CMS.

One day earlier, two of our students bullied and punched another student. Their motive remains unclear to any of the students, which is not altogether unusual at this age. Power and dominance over others equates to respect and survival for some. My Vice-Principals and I were outraged at this act of violence, and left the campus on the evening of January 12th with heavy hearts. The next morning, we met with the assailants and issued consequences, including: suspension, letters of apology, and verbal public apologies to peers. However, our attention was also drawn to the panelists from TKF who were arriving on campus. I hurried over to our library to greet the panelists, including our own student ambassadors, and momentarily forgot about the violent act that had taken place less than 24 hours on my own campus. Mr. Ples Felix’s genuine warmth and sincerity filled the room, and although moments earlier I had been troubled, I suddenly felt calm. Once I knew that our guests had the refreshments we’d ordered, I returned to the office to resume my interactions with our two assailants.

I do not want to downplay what took place next. Whatever happened in the brief moments I had spent in the presence of the TKF members allowed me to think more clearly about how to support, rather than to simply punish, the two adolescents who had hurt another adolescent. It became crystal clear to me that these two youngsters needed to hear the messages about to be delivered by the members of the “Violence Impact Forum.” Know that I had never attended any programs sponsored by TKF; I was simply responding to the calm feeling I had received moments earlier while in the presence of a few of the panelists. Therefore, much to the surprise of both boys, I told them they would be attending the assembly. Their assignment was to take notes in order to write a reflective response, which I would personally read.

Both boys were seated in the back of the auditorium, seats and rows apart from one another and their classmates. They were the only students mandated to take notes, so they had paper and pencils in hand. Once the presentation started, I was so focused on the speakers that I didn’t turn to check on “my boys” until almost mid-way through the program. As I approached each of them to check on their progress, their countenance gave me my first clue that something was taking hold within their hearts. Their previously tough demeanor was replaced by an innocent and childlike expression. Instead of asking them for evidence that they were taking notes, each boy quietly held out his notebook, and I saw clearly that their eyes were moist with tears. I respectfully thanked them for their attentiveness and quietly returned my attention to the presentation.

Once back from the presentation, a guest presenter, Jesus Gonzalez, Jr., a former gang member who survived a violent gang attack, came to the office to meet with both boys. They held a private 45-minute session behind closed doors, and it’s clear that Mr. Gonzalez left the boys with contact information should they need/want to call upon him for support. Jesus also met with me briefly, and I thanked him for the work he is doing.

Both boys wrote pages in response to the TKF presentation. They both admitted that their own anger had robbed them of their ability to think—a lesson they learned from the presentation. Now I know that my counselors and staff can build upon this one learned lesson and empower more and more youngsters to learn how to calm down and think before taking action.

On a personal note, at the end of the presentation, I had the opportunity to hug both Azim Khamisa and Ples Felix. Until January 13, 2010, we had never met. How is it that I feel so connected to both of them and to their son and grandson? As a foundation, that is the power of your energies—you are connecting complete strangers. You are connecting people who hold different religious beliefs, who have different skin color, and who don’t appear to have much in common, at all. Words elude me as to how to express my deepest appreciation and respect for the work you do. I also thank your sponsors and salute their wisdom to fund TKF.

I acknowledge that your salutations include: “In Peace,” and “With Kindest Regards of Peace.” You made a difference in at least two lives ( and I know many others) on January 13, 2010, and I THANK YOU for your work.

Putting Children First,

Patricia Ladd
Principal
Correia Middle School

I have taken a different approach with Ron in the last few weeks. Since he says he spends most of his cash on booze and tobacco and gets most of his food for free, I have decided to only give him non-cash donations.

Last week, I saw him before I went into the local drug store. I told him I had some extra money and that I would be happy to buy him something from the store. First he asked for shampoo. He did not want a large bottle, something more medium he said. Then he asked for a comb. Not an expensive one he said, but the cheap ones you carry in your back pocket. I said I had more money and he could go on. He thought for a bit and asked for some socks.

I told him that would be no problem and started to walk away. He yelled out to me with a smile on his face that he would like some cigarettes. He quickly said he was just kidding since he knows that I would not buy them for him.

I got everything he was asking for and went back to give them to him. He was extremely grateful and gracious. The more I get to know Ron, the more I see him as a typical guy except he is stuck living on the streets. He drinks too much and has no support system. He knows he is an alcoholic. He says he wants to get off the street. I will keep befriending him. Maybe that will help.

One day, Alan came upon a very busy man in the kingdom on San Diego named Mark. Mark was an important and well know executive. Mark had many people working for him and was very busy building his kingdom. Mark was also very involved in philanthropy. He supported many wonderful charities in the kingdom of San Diego. Mark would be a classic SDSVP Partner who already believed in the power of giving, the power of good. Mark was an excellent dragon slayer.

Alan being on a mission asked Mark, “Would you join SDSVP? We grow philanthropists. We make a difference in the community. We can help you and you can help us. Slaying dragons is so much easier as part of a team.” Mark being a very important executive, who already had a giving nature, did not feel that SDSVP would be for him. SDSVP must be for executives who don’t understand the nature of philanthropy. SDSVP was not for Mark.

Well for Alan a true evangelist, Mark’s no was just the beginning of the road of sowing seeds. Eventually Mark retired from business and got more involved in charity. Alan continued to see Mark at functions around the kingdom and continued to ask Mark to join SDSVP. “But Alan, I already am involved, why should I join SDSVP?”

Alan smiled a crooked smile just on one side of his cheek and pulled out a special seed, a special bean, you know, one of those beanstalk seeds. Alan said it would grow faster than anything in the kingdom including Jack’s very own beanstalk. Alan said it would grow better, faster, stronger, smarter philanthropists. Alan said that if I watered the seed with a $5000 donation to SDSVP that it would grow with the help of other SDSVPers to $45,000 of gifts in the kingdom of San Diego. Alan said that all the fully committed philanthropists could climb that beanstalk and work with other committed philanthropists to find the goose that lays the golden egg.

Well Mark finally decided to join and Alan was right. With other SDSVPers, Mark learned. He rolled up his sleeves. He joined other SDSVPers in their causes. Mark learned about scalable impact, about slaying ten dragons at a time, not just one. This scalability is the goose that lays the golden egg for non-profits. Within a year, Mark realized that to be part of SDSVP was to be part of the most powerful force for good in the kingdom.

And now Mark’s pocket is full of appleseeds and one very special bean.

I finally have a short video of Ron from Ft. Worth. Ron From Ft. Worth Unfortunately my video recorder ran out of space a few minutes into the interview. Here are some of the comments that I got from Ron

I have asked Ron a few times, where he sleeps. He finally confided that homeless people never tell anyone were they sleep. They fear harassment, bodily harm and theft of their possessions.

I asked Ron how much he makes in donations every day. He says that in La Jolla he receives about $20 and he generally uses the money for tobacco and alcohol. I asked him about food. He says he does buy food if necessary, but generally he gets food donations or eats at churches or other homeless outreach organizations. I am going to have to rethink my opinion on giving money to the homeless. I will finish up this year’s $20 a week project, but I might start giving them food and other items they might need.

He had a sign today that was requesting blue jeans, a big backpack, a medium duffle bag, a windbreaker, sunglasses and a battery operated radio. If he got these items he would be able to enter a detox center for 15 days and get cleaned up. I asked why a radio and he said they don’t have radios so he wanted to sneak one in. I told him I would get him everything but the radio. Ten minutes later, I returned with all the things he wanted except the radio. I was amazed at how genuinely happy he seemed to get the duffle bag and backpack. He kept telling me how he would be able to pack away all his possessions and get rid of his shopping cart. (Note: In actuality, the backpack is now sitting in shopping cart and the duffle bag his hanging off the side.)

Earlier in the year, Ron used to sit on the wall by Vons, one of our local grocery stores. Now he sits on the curb by CVS, a local drug store. Jane, who I have blogged about before, used to sit on this curb. He says Jane is now in a board and care facility. I asked him if wanted to be in a board and care. He said yes, but I did not sense any conviction in his voice.

He is 56 years old. He was in the army from 1972 to 1975. He started his heavy drinking in the army and had some decent jobs afterwards. He has been an alcoholic and homeless for 20 plus years.

While talking with Ron, a well dressed lady came by with a bag of groceries. She knew Ron’s name. I guess she had seen him earlier in the week and was heartbroken by his appearance. In the grocery bag, she had a large sandwich, some water, a juice drink and a bag of peanuts. Ron was gracious in receiving the items and politely declined the peanuts since his teeth are so deteriorated that he can’t chew peanuts. She looked over to me and asked a few times if I wanted them. I pretty sure she thought I was homeless also.

When I asked Ron if I could make a video and post it on my website, he said sure, but wanted to shave first. I find it interesting that he was concerned about his appearance.

Hope you enjoy the video. Ron From Ft. Worth

In the last couple of weeks I have seen more homeless back in my neighborhood in La Jolla. I saw Ron from Ft. Worth twice this week. He looks better than earlier in the year. I did not have time to talk with him, but he is tops on my list to get reacquainted with.

I did talk with Debra from Eureka today. She remembered me. Well, actually she remembered me by my bike that I park at Starbucks. I asked her what my name was and she looked at my bike and said Gary Fisher. That is the brand of my bike. It was interesting talking with her. She is a bit crazy. I am sorry that I can’t be more technical in my description. She had a form from the San Diego Sheriff’s Department that had something to do with tracking personal articles in the arrest process. She showed it to me and started talking about DNA injections and the space station monitoring her movements. I let her talk for a bit and describe this DNA injection process in more detail. Then I asked her to read the top two lines of the form she was showing me. I was wondering if she was capable. She read them perfectly and then got back to her DNA story. I gave her $20 and moved on.

I really want to reconnect with Ron. Talking with Debra is not really satisfying my desire to understand the homeless from their point of view. If I can sit down with a sober Ron, I will learn more. I really want to video tape him so I can show you all.

Today, I am going to take a stab at Social Security. My parents have passed away, but during their years of retirement, Social Security helped them. They did not need much as they led simple lives. The first home I grew up in, they owned for 25 years. The second home they owned for 30+ years and paid off the mortgage. They had a dog, actually many dogs. They were married 51 years. They drank cheap wine bought in gallon bottles. They clipped coupons. They watched their weight. They had their ailments, but they did not complain too much. They smoked. They went to church and gave to charity. Upon retirement, they lived off of a small pension, an IRA and Social Security. Social Security played a role in their American dream.

So how do we fix Social Security so older Americans can benefit the way my parents benefited? I am not going to quote statistics as I don’t want to get in a battle of numbers. We all can agree that under the current system and in some years to come, the Social Security system will be paying more money out than it takes in. Simply put, money out will be greater than money in. Simply put again, Social Security is going broke. This is bad. This needs to be fixed. Ignoring it is irresponsible, for time alone will not fix this problem.

Our politicians must develop a solution and we must demand so. There are three components to the solution: 1) raise taxes 2) lower benefits 3) assist and create incentives for citizens to save for their own retirement. The ultimate solution will be a combination of these three components. I absolutely understand that the concept of raising taxes or lowering benefits or encouraging citizens to fend for themselves is controversial, emotionally charged and a political time bomb. It’s no wonder that the Republicans and Democrats can’t agree.

If the Democrats even make a whisper about fixing Social Security with some sort of a tax increase, the Republicans will attack full force. Likewise, if the Republicans even make a whisper about privatization of Social Security or lowering of benefits, the Democrats will attack full force. This deadlock has been in play since as early as the 1980’s. I say let’s stop this deadlock. I say let’s create a new a powerful voice that demands that both parties work out a solution that is acceptable to all. I say let’s create an America fix, not a Republican or Democrat fix, but an American fix.

Here is how we make this happen. We must get Democrats and Republicans in a room with a handful of experts to hash out a workable long term solution. Both parties must agree to vote for the solution. Both parties must refrain from using the solution as a way to attack the other party. The president must agree to sign the bill. This process is viable, if we add one ingredient that has never been available. That ingredient is millions of Americans voices demanding this.

My voice is one. 1 voice gives us a start. 1,000 voices will give us an indication that success is possible. 100,000 voices will give us momentum. 1,000,000 voices will give us the necessary visibility in the media. 10,000,000 voices will get the politicians’ attention. 100,000,000 will guarantee success. Don’t you think that 100,000,000 Americans want Social Security fixed? I do!

Join me in creating our strong voice that will finally force our politicians to fix Social Security. Send me an email at ourstrongvoice@gmail.com with your support or with reasons not to support or with your questions. Then send this blog posting to everyone you know so we can get more feedback.

The summer has been very quite for my homeless project. The police have successfully moved most of the homeless out of my part of downtown La Jolla. I am hoping that it is only for the summer and that they will return starting in September.

I have too many $20 bills to give away. I have too much to learn!

About a month ago, three events happened that I believe are making my goal of meeting the homeless a bit more difficult. According to the local paper in La Jolla, there was a town hall meeting where the local police and La Jollans gathered to talk about the homeless problem. I did not attend the meeting as I was not aware of it until the newspaper article. The gist of the article was some of the local La Jollans wanted the police to move the homeless out of their neighborhood. The usual reasons were cited. They are dangerous. They scare away tourists and shoppers. Etc…

The day after I read the article, I saw a man who worked at one of the local stores yelling at a homeless man. In no uncertain terms, he was screaming at the top of his lungs things like “Get out of here” and “I’ll call the police on you.” The homeless man was clearly intimidated and moving on. I wonder where he went.

A few days later, there was a manager of a local hole-in-the-wall restaurant talking with two police officers. As I walked by, the officers said the he would need to call the police more often when he saw the homeless loitering.

I have noticed in this past month that all the homeless who I have come to know are gone. It is a bit creepy for me. I am sure they are not all in shelters, though I am hoping that Ron from my previous posts is still in a shelter. I am sure they are not all in jail. They have just been moved from my neighborhood to someone else’s.

The $20 bills have been accumulating in my pocket. I am going to have to start searching other neighborhoods to continue my quest.

Since I was so far behind on giving $20 bills away, I set a goal to give a $20 out each day this week.

Monday - I saw Mike outside of the bagel store. Mike was born in Louisiana but grew up in Hyannis Massachusetts. His hands and head shake all the time. When I introduced myself, he instinctively stuck out his hand to shake mine as any gracious man would do. Mike is very much mentally ill, but still gracious. How interesting.

Tuesday - I went to Mike’s normal hangouts a couple of times today, but he was no where to be found.

Wednesday - Talked with Debra from Eureka today. She is a regular in the area. She is the first homeless person to really recognize me. We talked for a bit. She is still a bit incoherent, but never smells of booze. She claims she does not drink or do drugs. She says she might be looking to live indoors again, but living outdoors is really simple or so she says.

Thursday - I talked with Deborah from Colorado today. She certainly represents a different type of homeless than Mike and Ron. Deborah is pretty clean. She and her husband were on vacation in San Diego a year ago when her husband had a heart attack. He was hospitalized and had eight stints put in. My doctor friend says eight stints is a fabrication. My sense is that Deborah was trying to make her story sound better to me. I find it interesting that even the smallest of lies can be so discrediting. During that recovery from the operation, she lost her job and he was not able to return to his construction job. They lost their apartment in Colorado and have been homeless ever since. She is working with local churches and non-profits trying to get back on her feet. Her family lives in New York and is near the poverty level themselves. She and her husband sleep near the local car wash with the permission of the owner. They have two new small duffle bags that they carry their belongings in. She was very articulate and reading a spy novel when I sat down with her. I have been watching her and her husband for the past few months. They hang out in the mornings in the bagel shop that I frequent. I have never approached them in the bagel shop because I did not want them becoming too friendly with me and “bothering” me when I was in the bagel shop. Seems pretty callous of me and I have learned and grown from my conversation with Deborah and from writing these words. For me, public confessions are very powerful.

Friday - I met up with the other Debra from Eureka who is a bit crazy. I did not have any time to talk with her. She very much recognized me and put on a smile when I walked up to her.

Saturday - I saw Debra inside the Starbucks. I am still not comfortable talking with the homeless inside. I only talk with them outside.

Sunday - I walked past a person lying in a sleeping bag behind the local bank and felt like I was intruding in their bedroom. I veered around them.

All in all, this was a good week and I learned more about the homeless and myself. I gave away four $20 bills instead of my goal of seven.

The homeless man that I had been talking with and giving an occasional twenty dollar bill stopped hanging out near the Vons parking lot. He had been telling me about his conversations with the homeless outreach of the San Diego police force. He had actually talked about a certain gentleman whose name I never really latched onto. I was also not so sure if this was just a line.

Coincidentally, I had lunch across from the Vons parking lot after about 4 days of Ron not showing up. I had lunch with Simonne Ruff who is the Director of the Corporation for Supportive Housing (CSH) in San Diego. CSH (www.csh.org) is a great organization that helps communities create permanent housing with services to prevent and end homelessness. An organization that I happen to be Chairman of, San Diego Social Venture Partners (www.sdsvp.org), has been supporting CSH for the past few years, but I digress.

Simmone gave me the name of a San Diego police officer who works with the homeless. Out of concern for Ron, I emailed the officer. A few days later the officer call me up and told me that Ron had been taken to a facility, but I was not allowed any specific details because of confidentiality requirements. The officer said he would give Ron my cell phone number and tell Ron that I was someone who cared for him. I wonder if Ron will ever call me? I wonder if Ron will be successful in detox and afterwards? I wonder if Ron will show up back at Vons?

With Ron gone, I had to find another homeless person to bond with. I did give $20 to Mike this week, though I did not find out where Mike was from. Mike is a bit scary to talk to and I was not on my game. Normally, he seems a bit crazed and is often having a conversation with himself. I did see him quiet once this week. I walked past him as I usually do, but turned around and went back. I am glad I did.

By the way, I am way behind on my weekly goal. Every Sunday, I put a $20 in my pocket and I am supposed to give it away by the following Sunday. This is the 22nd week of the year. I still have eight $20 bills in my pocket. I need to get on the ball!